Dealing With Loss While Fulltime RVing
I cannot forget that phone call. That face I saw on the phone. He did not see me but I saw him. Sleeping, but was it peacefully? I just wanted to be next to him, let him know I was there as he was preparing for his journey to a new destination where I would never see him this side of heaven again. But being several states away, how could I be there?
I thought I would never experience a death of a parent while traveling. It is hard to fathom such a terrible time when you think everything is fine and your loved ones will last a long time. But isn’t it funny how actually that is NOT true and someday we will in the end meet our Maker?
We were in Montana when I got a phone call urgently telling me the seriousness of my dad’s health issues. He had been suffering from dementia, had heart disease and the latest was a UTI infection, usually cured with medication and cranberry juice. When you are older, however, nothing is ever easy to cure. So when I got the call that my dad was suffering even more, honestly, I did not not know what to do.
Go back to Arizona or stay in Montana?
We were at a work camping job in Helena, Montana for the season and I had to contemplate what to do. Even though we have our home on wheels and could go anytime we want to, what happens when you have a job you are committed to? One that is far away and you do not know if you can go back financially?
I will share with you what we did after some tips that might help you when something happens far away from your loved ones:
Know that things will happen while traveling away from loved ones. Someone may get hurt or sick, or even worse, death. This is something to keep in mind as you travel.
You might get sick or hurt and need to go back home. Sometimes medical care is better at home and especially if you have family around, that always seem to help you get better.
If you are working out of state (like us), you have a choice to make: either go home or stay where you are and keep posted about what is happening at home.
This is important and one I try to remember myself: no matter what choice you make, not to feel guilty. You started this lifestyle for freedom and fun, and especially to travel where you want. Bad things will happen and there is nothing you can do to stop it even if you stayed home.
So what did we end up doing? We stayed in Montana. And yes, I was racked with sadness and guilt as my dad passed away and I was not there. He is my only dad, the dad that walked me down the aisle, the dad that called me at the hospital when I was having my gall bladder removed, making sure I was ok, the dad that would welcome us on our visits. Unfortunately I cannot fly due to an inner ear problem and driving from Montana would have been so hard and then coming back as we were working.
I was able to watch some of the funeral as my daughter called me and switched the call to a video. Thank goodness for modern technology! But it was unstable as we had to rely on the internet, so I could not watch the whole thing. I know if we did go back home we would not have come back to Montana (too far) and the company we worked for would have understood.
It was a choice we made and it was a HARD one. But not only that, John’s mom passed away too, about a month after my dad. So we decided to spend more time with family once we returned to Arizona.
Living this lifestyle could mean we get to go where we want, when we want to, but sometimes we will have decisions to make, whether we go or stay when a loved one is sick. That is only a decision YOU can make. Life happens even on the road and worrying about our loved ones will not help us to feel better, but worse. If you are traveling, enjoy the journey as our journeys here on earth can be short and sweet, so make the best of it as you can!