If Your Spouse Passes Away, Will You Travel?

This is a hard question to fathom: if your spouse passes away, will you continue to travel?

Enjoying a warm cup of hot chocolate and a side of a snickerdoodle (yum!) on this rainy and chilly winter day, I ponder at the glass, looking out a cool window with sprinkles of raindrops, looking up at the sky wondering when the chill will leave. I cuddle on the chair in a coffee shop, with a sudden shudder, realizing the cold of the closeness of the window is permeating into my soul, bringing up thoughts I do not usually have, or just try to not think about them. A gloomy day can bring the best or even the worst out of me, thinking about thoughts I try to keep in the deep recesses of my mind, not to visit or even dust off for an unexpected visit. But the thought is pushing through the cobwebs, pushing itself forefront into my mind, screaming to be let out:

What if something happens to my husband, the inevitable we humans do not like to think about, but have to one day?

I sometimes like to pretend that thought does not exist, that we are not ready or too young (not really but we are not ancient either), but it is something that should be not only thought about but discussed with your spouse.

Will you continue to travel in your RV if your spouse passes away?

I already know what my answer is: NO.

Why do you ask? Here are some reasons that we could share and see how many you agree with:

• I can’t drive our large setup.

• I will be incredibly sad and lonely.

• I need family to be close to me.

• Have no interest in traveling anymore.

Let’s dive into the four statements above with the first: We have a large setup, meaning a semi that pulls our travel trailer with a Ford Bronco sitting on the flatbed in between the semi and trailer. I know, I know, why did we get such a setup if I cannot drive it? There are reasons that we did and I have read many times that both spouses should be able to drive their RV, but I cannot and will not learn how to drive a semi. I admire the women that drive semis for a living, but honestly, it scares the living daylights out of me.

I cannot imagine life without my husband. Oh my goodness!! How incredibly sad and lonely I will feel if he is the first to pass away. I have heard sometimes people can drive even when they are sad and somehow it eases up the sadness, but for me, that is a hard NO. I would be more afraid of hurting myself or others if I wanted to continue our RV lifestyle.

Missing my kids has been such a “biggie” for me in this lifestyle. I sometimes wished I could scoop them up and bring them with us on our travels, but as young adults facing a powerfully difficult world, it is their time to make a mark in it. Yet, home is where the heart is, even with a heart full of memories of my husband and children. My kids mean a lot to me and am grateful they continue to live in the same state within driving distance of one another and now us.

Honestly, I could not see myself driving in the RV lifestyle anymore. Beside the incredibly large setup that I cannot drive, I would miss my husband too much to want to see anything else. Maybe men have an easier time when their spouse passes away and they may continue to travel. I just would not see the point to share my travels with no one, not even a pet. My traveling memories will stay with my husband and myself.

So, as I ponder this on a cold, chilly day, with a hot chocolate in my hand, a tear glistening in my left eye, thinking about the big “what if,” then what? Someday each one of us will die, but hopefully not too soon. If my husband passes before me, I probably would do short adventures within the state I live in, maybe with other women, not sure yet. I hope they like drinking hot chocolate on a cold rainy day with me. But for now, I will enjoy the time I have left with my awesome husband, my coffee-drinking addicted husband, and be thankful for the adventures we have had and more to come on future sunny days.

What will you do if your husband passes before you?