Waiting on God For Healing and Peace
Sweet friend, if you are struggling with your health today, then this story is for you. I want to share my story in hopes that it will give comfort to someone, that Jesus is with that someone, and that someone could be you.
I did not want to go through it. I begged, pleaded, cried to get out of it. I questioned, “Why me?” Was I really that bad of a person?
Rolls of dizziness, pain so bad that I asked to be taken out of this world, things I went through without permission. My permission. But it did happen. For years. But it was different as someone went with me.
Jesus.
I begged and pleaded to God to save my health, to heal me, restore me. In his own way He did, but not as you might think.
When I turned around 40 years of age, something changed. It was not a welcome change or one I may have anticipated, but it came. Like a vengeance. So I did what some of us would do: saw a doctor.. Through a series of medical visits and medication not working, God brought people into my life that would help me go through the health problems I endured.
They did not heal me, and I was deeply discouraged, troubled and ready to call it quits. But, you know how things start small and insignificant, not a real emergency? That is how it started, a small, little pain in my abdominal area that I thought would go away, but it did not, at least not for a long time.
Then the dizziness started. I have suffered with car sickness, especially as a youth, due to sitting in the back seat of a vehicle. Not a fun seat for me! Or even some carnival rides that I tried to be brave on, but sometimes ended up feeling dizzy and sick. But this dizziness that came suddenly would last for a long time. I was thinking, maybe a week or two I would be sick, then the healing would take over, like when you have a cold or the flu, it only lasts so long then it is over.
But not for me.
Why God? Why me? Is this something you cried out to God?
I was a stay-at-home mom, trying to homeschool my children despite how I felt. I knew this homeschooling was a calling, and no sickness was going to take that away. But it was difficult, so, so difficult.
Not only did I see doctors, I went to places to be prayed over, asked for healing over and over, read my Bible, especially Scripture verses that proclaimed healing. I could barely walk straight, and lost a lot of weight since eating was painful and made me nauseous.
When would healing come I would cry or even yell about? Either take me away and bring a healthy wife and mom for my husband and kids or heal me I would demand. Sometimes being sick has a way of affecting your mental health, not just physical but also emotional health.
But was it okay to feel this way?
One day I was crying once again (I think I cried so much during this time of my life that I could have made a lake in my house). I felt a presence. A presence that touched me gently on the back, like a mother soothing her child. But there was no one there. I felt peace, a warmth that touched me and an encouragement that things will be okay.
But it would not be right away.
You see, I had to go through this horrible sickness for a time, about 4 1/2 years, which is a LONG time to be dizzy and sick! I had to feel Jesus’ healing touch, to grow close to Him, learn about Him, suffer with Him. These are things you might be going through right now. You might be questioning God why are the bad things happening to me?
I do not have an answer for you, but what I can tell you is this: Jesus is with you, suffering with you, comforting you through this process. Bad things happen to everybody in different forms. Sometimes it may seem like your best friend has all the luck and never suffers from anything, but never say never. But also do not wish bad things on your best friend!
Jesus suffered with me as I would lie in bed, with dizziness or pain in my body. He would help me sleep so I could feel better. And you know what? After that long time, I started to feel better, but not completely.
I do not know why some people are healed completely from their ailments while others are not, but for you, He is with you. Jesus sent His Holy Spirit to comfort us, to be with us and help us with whatever we need. It may not look like what you were asking for, praying for, pleading for, but the Holy Spirit is there, as Jesus had said He would never forget us. He can bring a peace that we do not understand; not an earthly peace, but a heavenly one.
What are you suffering through right now? What can I pray for you?
