A New Lifestyle Change for the Better?
Sitting on the passenger seat, with my heart cast low, looking out the window and stealing glances at my husband, wondering why we started this lifestyle. I missed my kids terribly and the weird thing is, we were visiting places we only dreamed of, and yet I was depressed. I just wanted to turn around and start over with a house again, welcome the kids back if they wanted to, and live my safe and secure life, with less financial worry. Or was it less financial worry?
Hi, I am Lori and an empty nester. I started this empty nest life in early 2021 and it was a rocky start. I did not know what to expect or how my heart would feel after the last kid left. Although, I will be honest and say we had to push them out since we were selling the house and leaving to start this new RV lifestyle, and they knew this time was coming. But was this new lifestyle change for the better?
Also, what about mom? A mom who devoted so much time and energy to her kids, day after day for many years, and then all of a sudden, poof, that time is over and the kids are gone! This was incredibly hard and a difficult period to go through, especially with a whole new life change into the RV lifestyle. It was time to be with my husband, without the kids for the first time in a LONG while.
But coping with the changes of going from a house, leaving the kids behind, selling almost everything and have room to walk in the RV was a CHALLENGE. I wish I had a mentor, someone that could have told me beforehand the many emotions I would go through and how to overcome them.
I would like to help.
Going through a lifestyle change is ever so hard, especially if you throw in something new, like I did when we moved into our RV and started traveling. But after doing this for almost 3 years, I have some tips that I think would help you understand that we ALL go through the empty nest years, to accept it and move forward:
Empty nest will come when it is time and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Instead of dreading it, like me, learn to accept it as a part of life, something you, yourself went through when you were young. Remember how much fun it was to move away from your parents and into something that only you were in charge of?
You will be fine. It is a time of change and maybe even heartache, and it is normal to feel upset when your kids leave. It is a part of life, and is very important for your kids to stretch their wings and get out in the real world. Remember, you did too!
The kids will be fine. Sure, they may stumble, make wrong choices or bad decisions, but that is how they learn to grow up and cope with life as an adult. I remember making MANY bad choices in my younger years, but I did learn from them and helped to form who I am today. Your kids will learn too.
Listen to your kids when they have questions. Sometimes they may ask for your advice and do give it freely. I love giving advice, but I am also learning to shut my mouth when they are not seeking it. However, there are times they will not ask for advice and it is important for YOU to let them make their own decisions, whether they are right or wrong. We want to catch them, save them from poor choices, but they need to stumble to learn from that poor choice and hopefully not make it again.
Remember your spouse? Most of the time, your husband will remember you and cannot wait to be with you without the kids. It may have been some time, and he is anxious to start the next phase of his life, living as a couple again.
Your spouse has left you. I am so sorry this has happened to you. It is very unfortunate as you need support going through the empty nest time and your spouse has left for whatever reasons he has. Get involved in a support group, meet new people, seek advice from a counselor and whatever you do, do not blame yourself. It is not your fault. It is time for a new chapter in your life and maybe you will find love again.
Going through the empty nest time is difficult, a sad time for many, maybe even you, or it can be a happy time as you have the freedom to do want you want, when you want, without giving all your time to the kids.
I do not feel depressed like I used to. But sometimes I really miss my kids or the state I grew up in, so I keep in contact with my kids through a group chat where we talk, send pictures or voice messages.
Join me next time as we discuss lifestyle changes, especially if YOU decide to fulltime RV, like us!
